Priming the Pump

For every action there's a reaction

I had forgotten how good it feels, just to step out and "do something." Yesterday my creative juices got flowing following Connie's terrific step at starting our blog. Once we took the leap to put ourselves out there the former "perfectionist fear" didn't keep me stuck. Suddenly great ideas started to come, ideas borne out of a need to share and serve what I have learned from my years as a practicing psychologist and from the short years of learning about the "art of coaching."

When do we ever decide we are 'ready enough' ? Of course the extreme example is that of the artist or scholar who labors over a work for decades only to find piles of canvases or manuscripts gathering dust for they were never quite good enough.

I have recently been introduced to the process of peer review in writing. In the teaching of writing, many folks now have students collaborate and share their work. Through that process they begin to build a rubric in order to evaluate the work. I was reminded over dinner last week by an artist, that art students have been doing that forever. They have become accustomed to putting their work 'out there' to benefit from the comments and reactions of their peers.

So, this blog is a place for us at Coaches Collaborative to do some primary process writing and for anyone in the world to jump in and join us. This process will let you know who we are, how we think, and perhaps we will all be motivated to jump ahead and do the things we might have not done before.

Here's to priming the pump ! 

Good enough Mother? Good enough Coach?

After pouring through books on mothering, a unique and liberating concept warmed my heart: the good enough mother. Ah, finally something I could attach too.

I didn't need to be a perfect mom, a super mom, I just had to be a good enough mom. That idea makes tasks manageable. I can be a good enough coach, psychologist, candle maker. Somehow taking away that perfectionism allows me to venture in. I have permission not to be finished, not to have all my t's crossed and i's dotted.

When I think of my own perfectionism I view myself as frozen in time and space. Nothing gets done or accomplished ! Nothing to show for my time and energy in paralyzed land. Indeed isn't that wonderfully safe?

So, I am joining Connie in sticking my neck out. 

My new mantra has two parts: anything worth doing is worth doing poorly....and, more importantly, "I am enough !"

Perfectionism vs. Burnout: When is Good Enough Really Good Enough?

A friend of mine told me recently that she has adopted the saying, “Good enough,” as a sort of mantra to describe her progress on work projects. It enables her to move forward on tasks and let go of the tyranny of perfectionism.

In the abstract, this should be liberating. Yea! This post, for example, doesn’t have to be perfect, right? It just needs to be “good enough” to get a point across and start a conversation going. However, it’s not that easy, is it? How do we ever know what actually is good enough? What seems at first like a cry of freedom, may end up feeling like an insult. After all, who among us wants to settle for good enough? Is it “settling,” or lowering our standards to declare something is good enough? Does it mean we are letting go of unnecessary, self-imposed pressure, or are we simply giving up?

Perhaps the answer lies in our enthusiasm for what we are doing. Are we striving for excellence, and giving up our perfectionism in a healthy way, or are we so burned out that we don’t even care about the “good” part anymore and cry, “Enough!” as in “Enough already. Let me out of here?” I think we generally know the difference. It’s a matter of energy. Does this thing I’m doing fill me up with passionate energy—or drain it out of me? Next time you say, “Good enough,” ask yourself where is your energy and enthusiasm.

Connie DiStasi Hillman, LICSW
Life and Career Coach
New Leaf Coaching
http://www.newleafcoachingonline.com